Another damn revision

 It’s just a revision of a haiku sequence in my book “Ideas of Imorovisation” but I’ve never been prouder of anything I’ve written. 

IDEIAS DI IMPROVASON NA KRIOLU

konxas na praia

undi sta nha kretxeu

kuxixus di mar

shells on the beach

where is my beloved

whispers of the sea

kritxa di barku

na kordas di violon

txeru di peska

squeak of the boat

on the strings of the guitar

smell of fish

konxa na orela

morna di kes ondas—

mesmu na Praia

Shell to ear

a morna for the waves—

even at the beach 

lua na seu—

karanjeju fantasma

na praia pretu

moon in the sky—

a ghost crab on

a black beach

ondas di agua

crescenti sa ta toki

morna di Cizé—

the ocean waves

the moon touches—

morna of Cizé

meiu kantiga

rabu di passarinha

ta some some

half a song

the tail of a kingfisher

fades fades

BINGO!

I think I have found the specific Bashō haiku that influenced WCW’s “Red Wheelbarrow” poem. Scholars have long since acknowledged the influence of haiku on the Imagist poets in general and the aesthetic of William Carlos Williams in particular. If I can find evidence that WCW knew this haiku by Bashō that would be the final nail in the coffin. The haiku in question is

Samazana no

koto omoidasu

sakura kana

So many things

come to mind—

cherry blossoms

Structurally the two poems are identical the only difference being the amount of detail that WCW gives us about the wheelbarrow and its setting. But otherwise they function identically as poems. I have thought for many years that the “So much depends” part of WCW’s poem was what kept it from being a haiku, but obviously I was wrong. Had he stopped after listing just the wheelbarrow there would be almost no difference between the two poems except that Bashō’s image is from the natural world and WCW’s is man made. Of course when he extended his image WCW gave himself more language to work with and his layout is genius—

upon

barrow

water

chickens

Just these four words which form the 2nd line of their respective stanzas are enough to let us identify the poem, but this one jamb and three trochees form the rhythmic spine of the poem. The poem has 22 syllables, 11 in each half (6-5 & 5-6) which I would argue make it a bespoke form and not merely a Free Verse poem. Anyway, I will keep my eye out for that last piece of clinching evidence. 

[Edit]

Speaking of Imagist circles, this poem by Orrick Johns is also known to have been an inspiration for WCW—

              —: Blue Undershirts (1915) :—

       Blue undershirts,
       Upon a line,
       It is not necessary to say to you
       Anything about it—
       What they do,
       What they might do . . .
            blue undershirts.

Welp!

 At the end of the day all thought is cartography and cartography requires the correct geometry and that geometry may not remain static over scale.