HOLE (noted)

"each hoisting forever upward his burden"

Each shriek,

hoisting a heavy tome

somehow calligraphic,

upwards as dust

a new music, old

burden, unbreathed.

Each bar stumbled from

hoisting hymnals

forever humming

upward, arpeggiatic

a soul, saxophonic

burden, burnished.

Each solo, flat sharp,

hoisting a hammer

forever falling,

towards

the ash-black

burden, airborne.

Each scream almost

hoisting down heaven.

forever. flaming

upwards. hell-bent.

your passion's single

burden. burning.

I'm thinking of revising this poem from the above form (which is a quotilla) to a form I call the B-Bop Solo, where I start with a quotilla, but then use normal enjambment and variations of the original phrase. I have written more successful poems like this than I have quotilla and it may become my favorite form to work in. The first revision looks like this;

HOLE (noted)

"each hoisting forever upward his burden"

Each shriek hoisting

a heavy tome

ssomehow calligraphic,

upwards as dust

a new music,

old burden, 
unbreathed.

Each bar stumbled
from

hoisting hymnals,

forever humming upward

arpeggiatic

a soul, 
saxophonic

burden, 

burnished.

Each solo, 
flat sharp,

hoisting a hammer

forever falling

towards

the ash-black

burden, 

airborne.

Each scream
almost

hoisting 

down heaven

forever

flaming

upwards

hell-bent,

your passion's
single

burden. 

burning.

And until next we meet, may all your potatoes be sweet (and dusted with cinnamon.)